


Here and Nowhere Else

by crystalesbian



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Small Town, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-10 08:18:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3283406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalesbian/pseuds/crystalesbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the sleepy little town of Silas, Alabama, located in the heart of the Bible Belt, a group of broken-hearted sinners gather in the solace of Summer Society Books & Coffee to try and find a way to make each other whole again. // Carmilla series small town/coffee shop au</p><p>(on indefinite hiatus until inspiration comes back)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for: discussion of death (not of a major character), religion, homophobia, misgendering, slurs

Danny wipes off the tabletop thats sticky with coffee rings from the old couple that just left, leaving her and Perry alone in the store. Its slow even for a Sunday morning, but Danny knows the after-church crowd was due in any minute. Sure enough, she soon hears the loud, cringe-worthy screeching and groaning that signals the arrival of Father LaFontaine’s youngest. The preacher’s kids are always the first ones to flee the church at the earliest opportunity.

Perry frowns with concern as LaFontaine swings open the door to the bookshop, bell tinkling behind them. “Honey, that sounds bad.”

“Seriously, LaFontaine, you really gotta get that thing checked. It’s at the point where it can’t be safe to drive.”

LaFontaine just shrugs. “Honestly, I’d rather it give out on the interstate than be stranded in this hellhole town with no car.”

Danny gives a small laugh of agreement while Perry’s face turns serious. “That’s not funny.”

“Sorry.” LaFontaine looks genuinely apologetic. After a moment, they scan the shop and lean over the counter towards Perry.

“We’re alone,” Perry confirms, almost being cut off by LaF kissing her.

The sound of someone clearing their throat loudly comes from the back of the shop. Perry and LaF both instantly stiffen, jumping apart and looking with wide eyes to the source of the noise.

Danny follows their gaze, seeing no one. “Relax,” she assures them in a low voice, “it must be someone camped out reading in the back.” Perry and LaFontaine are still frozen in fear. Danny says even quieter, “You’re in the clear. If we can’t see them, I doubt they saw you.”

They’re both still clearly on edge, but relax a bit. “So, how was it?” Perry asks somberly.

That brings Danny’s attention to the fact that LaFontaine is dressed in all black, a black dress no less, which is so unusual Danny can’t believe she just noticed it. A lump of sorrow builds in Danny’s throat as she realizes what Perry’s talking about. She forgot that was today. That’s why the store had been so empty. Nearly everyone in town was at the funeral.

LaFontaine groans. “Horrible. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more uncomfortable, and that’s saying a lot. You should’ve heard my dad, Perr. I mean, he was respectful enough, but it was still nauseating. All the shit about ‘God using tragedy to impart a lesson onto this town’ or whatever the fuck. And he’s even worse at home.” LaFontaine leans against the counter, relaxing a little more. “I mean, you know how he gets. He thinks this is like, God punishing the world for underage drinking or gay marriage or some other wacko fundamentalist bull. SJ’s family and friends are in mourning and he can’t shut up about how this is ‘a wake up call to the youth of this town not to stray from God’s heavenly light!’” LaFontaine says the last part in a deep, mocking voice, imitating the way their father spoke in his sermons. Perry reaches across the countertop and squeezes LaFontaine’s hand, smiling sadly. They rarely ever get this heated about anything, especially in front of anyone besides Perry, but when they did, it was usually because of their dad. LaF takes a minute to calm down, squeezing Perry’s hand back. They force out a small, hollow laugh. “I swear, I’m half expecting him to go down to town hall to propose a ban on dancing.”

Perry smiles genuinely at this, massaging the back of LaF’s hand with her thumb. “I’m sorry sweetie. I know it’s frustrating. But if it’s any consolation,” Perry leans across the counter to give LaF a peck on the lips, the unknown person in the back of the store now out of her mind, “you are much more attractive than the girl from Footloose.”

“The remake or the original?”

“Well, both, but obviously I’m referring to the original.”

“Thanks Perr.” A smirk plays on their lips. “I wish I could return the compliment, but y’know, that Kevin Bacon…”

“You are just terrible!” Perry swats them with a paper towel and leans in for another kiss, longer this time.

Danny rolls her eyes and squirts them with the water she was using to wipe off the counter. “Break it up, morons.” She gives them a pointed look, whispering again and nudging her head towards the back section of the store. “We have company, remember? And the after church rush is going to start any minute.”

They separate again, LaF looking to the back corner of the store anxiously to make sure that whoever was there was still hidden behind the bookshelves.Still seeing no one, they turn back. "I wouldn’t expect a huge crowd. A lot of people are probably at the wake."

Danny nods, going back to wiping the counter.

A few more minutes pass before the door swings open again, a group of students dressed in black treading somberly in. One of them was Laura Hollis, a rising junior in high school who used to be in student council with Danny. Laura heads straight to the counter to say hi to Danny while the group she’d arrived with sits at a table. Danny frowns as she recognizes the other three people, people she would have probably picked a fight with on any other day. But definitely not today.

Danny hadn’t exactly graduated with a lot of friends, but by far the two groups of people at her old high school who she had steadfastly resented were the Honors kids and the football team. The NHS kids were stuck-up and pretentious and the football team were your typical bonehead asshole jocks. They’d walked around acting like they were better than everybody because they were privileged enough to have the chance to get out of this shithole town. But as Sarah Jane’s two best friends and boyfriend sat down at their table, Danny promised herself that she’d be nice.

“Hey,” Laura says quietly to Danny and Perry, resting her arms on the counter. “You guys weren’t at the funeral?”

Danny rolls her eyes. “I didn’t think it would be the best idea to show up. I know how most people here think of me, and I’m not exactly a hard person to not see. I didn’t even know SJ that well, but I’m pretty sure if I had gone anywhere near the funeral, people would be starting rumors about our lesbian affair or something.” She smiles to make sure Laura knows she was joking.

Laura nods. “What about you Perr?”

Perry shrugs. “I thought about it. I didn’t know Sarah, but I knew her mother. But I couldn’t leave Danny here to run the store all by herself.”

“I could’ve handled it Perry.”

“Oh sweetie, no offense, but I’ve tasted the coffee you’ve made. You couldn’t’ve.”

LaFontaine looks over their shoulder. “Shouldn’t they be at the wake?” they ask in a hushed voice.

“They’re headed there. They were just gonna drop me off— I have to get my summer reading book— and catch a breather before going over to SJ’s house.”

Danny nods. “And how are you doing?”

“I’m okay. I only met SJ a couple times. I mainly went to support Betty." Betty and Laura were friends from student council. "Can I just get a chocolate chip muffin to go?"

Perry nods, reaching behind the display case to get her one. Danny looks over again at the table of students. The only one who ever comes in here regularly is Natalie, so Danny asks Perry to make three of Natalie’s usual orders and brings them to the table.

"Three hazelnut lattes, on the house." Danny sets the cups down at the table.

Natalie looks up. "Thanks," she says quietly. Kirsch doesnt look up. Betty wrinkles her nose and pushes hers away.

"Problem?" Danny asks as politely as she can.

"I’m allergic to hazelnut."

"To be fair, I’m pretty sure there’s no actual hazelnuts in there. It’s just artificial flavoring crap."

Betty starts to argue, but Perry, who’s been listening to the situation and has stepped out from behind the counter, interjects. "Better safe than sorry!" An overly-cheery grin is plastered on her face. "What would you like instead, B

"Elizabeth," she corrects, sinking back into her chair. "I’ll have green tea."

"Hey," Kirsch speaks up for the first time since they came in, "I’m not really into coffee either. Do y’all have any Gatorade?"

Danny grits her teeth. Be nice, she reminds herself. "Sure. One green tea and Gatorade on the house, coming right up."

Perry has already started making the green tea, so all Danny has to do is grab a Gatorade out of the cooler, so it’s not like she’s exactly being put out. She takes a few breaths, telling herself that it’s the principle of the thing, but she knows that it’s also the people. Still, these particular people just lost their friend. So no matter how much she may want to blow up at them, and probably would any other day, she manages to keep her composure until they leave.

 

* * *

 

Laura scans the shelves, searching for a copy of the book she needs, and in her focus, nearly trips over someone sitting in the middle of the aisle.

"Watch it, cupcake!" barks a voice below Laura as she jumps back, face flushing red.

"Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there!"

"Obviously," the person groans, standing up. Laura recognizes the girl as Mayor Karnstein’s daughter, Carmilla, and blushes an even deeper shade of red. "I didn't think you were wandering the aisles looking for people to kick."

"I really am sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going and--"

"Save your breath, cutie. I’m not gonna go crying to my mother and have you banished from city limits or whatever other crazy little scenario you’ve got running through your head right about now. ‘Course," Carmilla gave Laura a once-over that made her feel like the last canape at a buffet, "You’re Sheriff Hollis’s daughter aren’t you? Ooh, that would be any interesting feud to have." Lara's face must be an indication of her confusion, because Carmilla rolls her eyes and says, "I’m joking, cupcake.” She goes back to her spot on the floor.

Laura sits down next to her. "So..."

Carmilla raises an eyebrow at her, visibly annoyed. She waits for Laura to say something like "nevermind" and leave, but she sits there long enough that Carmilla sighs, puts down her book, and prompts Laura to continue. "So, what?"

"I didn’t see you at the funeral."

Carmilla leans her head back in exasperation. "Why do you care?"

"Didn’t you know SJ?"

"Everyone knew SJ. This town is the size of a postage stamp."

"Yeah, but weren’t you guys kinda close?"

Carmilla scoffs. "If the fact that she was fucking a bonehead jock friend of my brother’s means we were close, then yes, I’m close with half the girls in school."

"Sorry," Laura says, a little taken aback at Carmilla’s insensitivity. "I was just wondering. Most everyone in town was there. The rest of your family was there."

"Yes, and I make it a point to avoid the rest of my family at all costs." Carmilla gets up, shutting her book and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Not that this hasn’t been a nice little chat, cutie pie, but I’d rather go somewhere where I can read my book without being pestered by puny little go-getters who think that the funerals of young girls are good topics for small talk." Carmilla walks briskly out of the store, book still in hand.

Danny follows her out of the store, shouting after her. "Hey, you have to pay for that!"

 

* * *

 

“This roast is wonderful, Mrs. LaFontaine,” Perry says with the cheesy fake grin and voice that she uses whenever she’s over at this house. “Cooked to perfection, as always.” LaFontaine has to hand it to Perry, she knows how to charm parents. She was practically running the PTA with her mother, and her top secret brownie recipe was the most sought-after on town.

“Thank you dear. More mashed potatoes?”

Perry shakes her head. “No thank you, ma’am, I’ve had too much already.”

They’re sat down at the dinner table with LaFontaine’s family, their parents sitting at either end of the table. LaFontaine and Perry are sitting next to each other, and across from them are LaFontaine’s older brother and his girlfriend. It’s like some sort of bizarre double date that only Perry and LaFontaine realize is a double date.

Cindy LaFontaine nods in agreement, laughing the way she always laughs for company. “I should probably follow your example. I want to save some leftovers anyway to take to Sarah’s family. I’m sure they’ve already got enough casseroles in their freezer to last the winter. I figure they’d appreciate something different.”

“My mother and I are going over to cook dinner for them later this week, and I’m bringing my brownies. Dr. Richards is a friend of my mother’s from the PTA.”

Father LaFontaine speaks up. “Why didn’t we see you at the funeral, Lola?”

“John gave the most lovely eulogy. You really ought to come to church sometime and hear him give a sermon, he’s such an inspiring speaker.”

“Mom!” LaFontaine interrupted. “You know the Perrys are Jewish.”

“Well, yes, I know, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to learn from an occasional visit.”

Perry smiles politely. She’s an expert at hiding her discomfort around the LaFontaines by now. She answers Father LaFontaine’s earlier question. “I really did think about going, but I had work, and I never met SJ personally.”

“Got yourself a summer job, huh, kid? That’s great. I keep telling Susan here she’s got to take some initiative like that. We’re not gonna be supporting her forever.”

Perry finds LaFontaine’s hand under the table. By now, they’re used to all of this— the misgendering, the talking about them like they weren’t there, the insisting that they couldn’t live in their parents house forever. LaFontaine is counting on that last part, but it doesn’t make it any better to hear it knowing it comes from a place of shame. Their parents were embarrassed by their only daughter— because that’s what they’d always be to their parents, whether they came out or not— growing up to be so butch, and couldn’t wait for LaFontaine to get out of the house so they could start raking in pity over their beloved Susan who strayed from the path of God and never came home for Christmas anymore.

Father LaFontaine continues. “Where’re you working, Lola?”

“Summer Society books.”

An uncomfortable silence falls over the table. Mrs. LaFontaine takes a long sip of her iced tea and Father LaFontaine becomes incredibly focused on cutting his meat. LaF’s brother Thomas stares down until Stephanie, his girlfriend, finally speaks. “That’s where the dyke works, right?”

LaF’s mother nearly spits out her tea and their dad slams his hand down on the table, gritting his teeth.

“Steph,” Tom scolds quietly.

“What? It is, isn’t it?” Stephanie leans forward, looking at Perry as if she’d just revealed that she was co-workers with a tap dancing bear. “What’s it like working with her?”

Perry finally responds, speaking slowly and carefully. “If you’re referring to Danny, she’s perfectly nice.”

“Danny!” Mrs. LaFontaine scoffs. “With a name like that, it’s no wonder she turned into a carpet-muncher!”

Tom nearly chokes on a piece of meat. “Mom!” he exclaims, red in the face. Steph is stifling giggles.

LaFontaine is squeezing Perry’s hand so hard that their short fingernails are digging into her palm. Perry can’t help but let out a small whimper, and LaF releases their grip. “I think I’d like to be excused, please.” They don’t even wait for an answer before gathering their dishes and making a beeline for the kitchen.

“Cindy, that wasn’t appropriate,” Father LaFontaine says. His voice is stern and his head is bowed.

“You’re right. It was vulgar. I’m sorry.”

Perry starts gathering her dishes slowly, wanting to give LaFontaine time to cool down before checking on them.

“It really is a shame, though,” LaF’s mother sighs. “I mean, whatever bad choices Diana Lawrence makes are her own, but to let her girls think that’s okay, it worries me. I’ve tried to talk to Diana about bringing her daughters to church, but she’s so stubborn, always has been.”

“That family was a lost from the start.” Father LaFontaine is back to cutting his meat and shaking his head. “The most we can do is pray that that girl of hers wises up and gets the help she needs.”

“I’m just afraid it may be too late. It’s best to nip these things in the bud at an early age. If I was her, I would’ve sent my daughter away as soon as I got word.

Perry hears the clatter of dishes from the kitchen and bolts up. “Thank you for dinner. Excuse me.” Perry rushes into the kitchen to find LaFontaine bent over, gripping the edge of the counter so tightly their knuckles are turning white.

“Honey—” LaF flees the kitchen and bounds up the stairs. Perry picks up their dishes and puts them in the sink along with her own before following after them.

When gets to their room she finds LaFontaine curled up on the bed clutching a pillow close to their chest, punching it and breathing heavily. “Where’s your inhaler?” LaF gestures to the drawer of their bedside table. Perry gets it out and hands it to LaFontaine, who takes a few puffs before burying their face in the pillow and letting out a muffled scream.

Perry sits next to them on the bed, gently rubbing their back. “One year, honey. Just one more year.” Perry feels LaF relax slightly under her and keeps repeating their mantra. ”You’ve made it so far. Just one more year.”

She keeps her hand on LaFontaine until their shoulders stop heaving and their breathing returns to normal and they sit up. “I know.” Their eyes are red. “I know, I’m sorry.”

”Don’t apologize, sweetie, I’m the one who started it.”

”No,” LaF shakes their head, ”You didn’t. It’s not your fault my family are assholes.” LaFontaine leans into Perry, head resting on her chest. ”And to be honest, it’s pretty hardcore that out of all the places you could’ve taken a job at, you chose the one that was bound to piss off every conservative parent in this hellhole.”

Perry laughs, brushing LaFontaine’s hair out of their face. ”I didn’t do it with the intent of pissing people off. I just figured that if I was going to be spending half my summer at a minimum wage job, it might as well be one that I enjoy, and where we don’t have to hide. Besides,” Perry muses, ”Danny’s the only out teenager in Silas. Shes been through a lot. I’m sure she has a lot of wisdom to offer.”

LaFontaine groans and says teasingly, ”Perr, please tell me you didn’t take that job as a weird queer social learning experience.”

”Of course not!” Perry swats LaFontaine’s hair. ”I’m only saying, she’s not the worst company to have. She makes things feel a little less… lonely.” There’s an ache in Perry’s voice that doesn’t go unnoticed by LaFontaine. They close their eyes and nod, concentrating on the feeling of Perry’s fingertips brushing against their forehead.

A few minutes go by before LaFontaine hears the clunk of their father’s shoes climbing the stairs and they stiffen, pushing themselves out of Perry’s lap. The door creaks open and Father LaFontaine’s face is like stone. ”Lola, you should head home soon. Susan, your mother and I want to speak with you.”

Perry gets up and says in the robotic, fake gracious voice she always uses around LaFontaine’s parents, ”Of course. Thank Mrs. LaFontaine again from me for dinner.” As soon as LaF’s dad turns his back, Perry squeezes LaFontaines hand and gives them the look that they know means text me later so I know you’re alright.

 

* * *

 

Almost the second LaFontaine gets back to their room and flops down on the bed, their phone buzzes. They grab it off the bedside table and read the text from Perry.

Perr: You okay?

LaF looks out their bedroom window that’s directly across from Perry’s and sees her watching them. No doubt she’d been anxiously checking the window since she got home.

LaF: yeah, all good

LaF: they just gave me some lecture about respect and staying on the right path, the usual bull

From the talk LaF had just had to endure, they were pretty sure their parents were under the impression that lesbianism was contagious. Part of them wanted to assure their parents that there was no way LaF could get any more queer, but the smart, self-preserving part of them knew better than to say anything aside from a muttered ”Don’t worry, I’m not gonna become a lesbian.” Which was technically true, going by the traditional definition of a lesbian being a girl who liked girls, which LaFontaine was not.

Perr: How are you feeling?

LaF: exhausted

It’s been a long day, and LaF feels it was going to be a long summer as well. With graduation now less than a year away, they were more anxious to get out of Silas than ever. Perry doesn’t text back immediately, and LaF checks the window again to see her sitting at her desk writing something in her notebook. They roll their eyes. Leave it to Perry to start on her summer work less than a week after school got out. LaFontaine changes into a t-shirt and pajama shorts and goes to brush their teeth. They come back to a text.

Perr: Look up.

LaFontaine does.

Perry is holding her notebook up to the window, the words ”I love you” drawn in large, fancy bubble letters. LaFontaine grins.

LaF: love you too perr <3

They climb into bed and turn off their lamp. Yeah, it’s gonna be a long summer. **  
**


	2. If My Heart Was a House, You'd Be Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1: If My Heart Was a House, You'd Be Home: Carmilla is forced by her mother to get a summer job, Danny isn't thrilled about Carmilla applying at her mom's store, and LaF is a romantic sap.

“You’re planning something.”

LaFontaine looks up suddenly. “Huh?”

“You haven’t said anything for half an hour.”

“I’ve been listening to you.”

“Right,” Perry agrees mockingly. “What was I just saying then?”

“You asked me what I was planning.”

Perry giggles. “Don’t think I’m not on to you. You’ve been quiet all morning, which means you’re either upset or plotting something, and you’ve got your plotting face on.”

“I don’t have a plotting face,” LaFontaine replies with a smirk and a twinkle in their eye, both of which are defining features of their plotting face.

“You’ve got it on right now.”

“Do not.”

“Oh, you absolutely do and you know it.”

LaF leans over the counter with a teasing grin. “And what exactly are you gonna do about it?”

Perry’s about to answer when the door swings open, bell tinkling wildly, and LaFontaine jumps back. A girl clad head-to-toe in black approaches the counter, plopping down a stack of papers.

Danny looks up at the girl, raising an eyebrow. “What is this?”

The girl standing across from her is Carmilla Karnstein, who rolls her eyes and smacks her gum. “Job application.”

Danny glares, not intending to make this easy. “Who says we’re hiring?”

“Mommy dearest, of course,” Carmilla says in a sing-song voice, picking at her nails to continue giving off that obnoxiously apathetic vibe she carries with her everywhere that Danny is thoroughly unimpressed with. “She not tell you? I came by yesterday and she gave me an application to fill out. Now, here I am.”

Perry speaks up in a weak attempt to diffuse the tension. “That’s true, she did come by. I meant to bring it up, but I guessed your mother would tell you.”

“She didn’t,” Danny says coldly, still staring Carmilla down.

“Right,” Carmilla sighs. “Well, as much as I’d love to stay and let you try to murder me with your eyes, I have better things to do, and none of them involve trying to figure out your bitter jockette facade.” Carmilla turns on her heel, taking a last look at Perry. “Make sure Xena here doesn’t dump my application in the garbage as soon as I leave. I’m not applying just for the fun of filling out paperwork.”

As soon as the door swings shut, Danny lets out a frustrated groan. “What the hell is that girl’s problem?”

“Dude, what’s _your_ problem?” LaFontaine asks with a chuckle, raising their eyebrows. “I mean, yeah, no one likes Carmilla, but seriously, that was a little intense.”

Danny runs a hand through her hair. “Did you see the way she walked in here like she owned the goddamn place? She acts like that everywhere she goes, it pisses me off!”

LaFontaine tries to hide their amusement. “Dan, I don’t know what your beef with that girl is, but I kind of want her to start working here so I can find out. The thirty seconds she was in here felt like a soap opera.”

“I don’t have beef with her. I just can’t stand people who think they’re better than everyone else. So she’s the mayor’s daughter and she lives in a huge house and has an endless collection of expensive leather jackets, who the fuck cares?”

“Sounds like _you_ care.”

Danny glares at LaFontaine, but before she can come up with a retort, Perry interrupts. ”Danny, I think the biography section needs reshelving. Could you get that done before too many people start coming in?”

Danny nods, deciding to let it drop. It’s not like she wants to keep this conversation going anyway.

As soon as Danny turns her back, Perry grins mischievously, picking up a can of whipped cream behind her back, out of LaFontaine’s field of vision. ”You are extremely lucky Carmilla came in here when she did.”

”Oh, yeah? And why is that?”

”Because otherwise, I would’ve done _this_.” Perry squirts a blob of whipped cream into her hand and smudges it across LaFontaine’s face.

LaFontaine stares in shock for a moment before snatching the can out of Perry’s hand. ”Fine, then. I guess I have to do this.” They squirt a stream of whipped cream wildly at Perry.

Perry squeals. ”Stop! Not in my hair, it’ll get sticky!”

”Should’ve thought of that before shoved a handful of it in my face!”

”Consider it payback for the fight _you_ started last week!”

Danny groans from the biography section. ”I swear to god, I’m not explaining to my mom why the whipped cream is disappearing so fast. I think she’s starting to suspect I’m stealing it for sex stuff.”

LaFontaine sets the can back on the counter. ”Fine. Truce?”

Perry leans forward, pressing her lips to a bit of whipped cream in the corner of LaFontaine’s mouth. ”Truce.”

Danny walks back behind the counter, rolling her eyes so hard they could fall out of her head. ”Gross.”

* * *

 

Carmilla swings open the heavy wooden front door and slams it loudly behind her. "I’m home, dipshit!" she shouts across the house. "If you’re watching porn in the living room again, turn it off." She drops her bag in the hall and finds Will making himself a sandwich in the kitchen.

"You’ve gotta get some new lines," he says with a roll of his eyes. "That one stops being funny after a couple years of overuse."

Carmilla smirks, sitting on a barstool and reaching across the counter to grab two slices of bread. "You only say that because you couldn’t see the look on your face when I walked in. Hey, hand me a tomato slice, will you?"

"Slice your own damn tomatoes." He slides the sandwich stuff towards her. "By the way, Mother wanted to know why there was a giant bag of cat food in your closet."

Carmilla freezes, dropping her knife on the counter with a clatter. "Mom was in my room?"

Will bursts out laughing. "God, you are _so_ easy! It almost sucks the fun out of it."

When Carmilla fails to think of a comeback, she picks up a slice of ham and flings it at him instead. "Asshole," she mutters.

"I seriously can’t believe you fell for that one." Will is still laughing as he picks the ham off his shoulder. "When was the last time Mother was in either of our rooms?"

Carmilla shoots him a death glare, taking a bite out of her sandwich. For all their mother’s faults, one thing Carmilla was grateful for was Mother’s policy on privacy. It was one of the few areas in her household where respect was a two-way street. Mother never entered any room without knocking, and it’d been so long that Carmilla had been in her mother’s room that she could hardly remember what it looked like inside. Mayor Karnstein cared very little what her children did behind closed doors so long as it stayed behind closed doors. She was not to be publicly shamed by the actions of her children, and found it easier to raise them to have a few skeletons in their closets than to raise perfect, well-behaved angels. Carmilla got to keep her secrets, and Mother got to keep her pristine public image.

"Seriously, though," Will replies, "you don’t think that she’s eventually going to start wondering why the neighborhood’s entire population of stray cats has moved to our backyard?"

Carmilla laughs bitterly. "Mother won’t notice. She hardly ever steps foot in the backyard unless it’s to yell at the gardener. Besides," she continues, wiping a blob of fallen mustard off her shirt and licking it off her thumb, “I’ve got bigger secrets to keep than the fact that I put out food for strays.” She finishes off her sandwich and heads up to her room. A black cat is sitting out on her balcony. Carmilla opens the sliding glass door and crouches down, stroking the cat behind the ears. “Hey, Mircalla,” she says as the cat stretches out at her feet, purring loudly. “Hey, sweet girl. You hungry?” Carmilla gets up to get the bag of cat food out of her closet, Mircalla following her in, rubbing against her leg. “I know, hold on.” She pours the cat food into one of the bowls sitting out back, petting Mircalla as she eats. The cat is comfortable enough with Carmilla now to let her do that. Mircalla was the first cat that had started coming by, and the food that Carmilla put out for her attracted more strays from around the neighborhood.

Carmilla lies down on her bed with her copy of _Anna Karenina_ , leaving her back door opened. As soon as she finishes eating, Mircalla comes in and joins Carmilla on the bed. They lie there for a few hours until Mircalla perks up, catching Carmilla’s attention. She stiffens, listening in anticipation for the knock at her door.

“Carmilla, my dear?” There it is.

Before Carmilla can pick her up, Mircalla has already bolted out the back door. Carmilla follows, shutting the glass door behind her. “You can smell evil,” she mutters as the cat climbs nimbly from the balcony railing to the tree overlooking it. “Yes, Mother?” she replies, creaking open her bedroom door and stepping out.

“I trust you haven’t forgotten what our deal for this summer is?”

Carmilla shakes her head. “No ma’am, I haven’t.”

“You’ve started applying for jobs, then?” Carmilla nods. “ _Words_ , dear, words.”

“Yes, I’ve started applying at places.”

“Very good. Where have you applied?”

“A few different places.” Carmilla swallows, looking at the ground. It was much easier to rebel against her mother when she wasn’t physically present.

Mayor Karnstein reaches out a finger, lifting Carmilla’s chin so Carmilla is forced to look at her mother. “Dear, you look at me when I’m talking to you. Where have you applied.” It isn’t a question, it’s a demand.

“Bookstores, mostly.” Carmilla has become skilled in lying to her mother, but she can’t lie in this situation. There isn’t a place in town her mother couldn’t call up to confirm that Carmilla had applied. “Um, I applied at Summer Society—”

Mother purses her lips disapprovingly. “Darling, I’d hoped when you began looking for jobs you would take into consideration how your choices would reflect on me. You’re a smart girl, after all— I can’t imagine it wouldn’t occur to you.”

"I— there aren’t a lot of places still hiring. Most—"

Mother doesn’t allow her to finish. "Carmilla, dear, I wanted you to get a job to build character. I want people to be able to see what a fine young girl I’m raising. You’re a very wise girl, Carmilla, but you’re young. I don’t want to see you influenced poorly."

Carmilla opens her mouth to speak. There are a million excuses swimming in her mind, but Mother doesn't give her a chance to voice a single one.

"I can’t control what you do. I only hope you make a wise decision. You always do."

Mother turns away, and Carmilla retreats back into her room, teeth gritted and hands balled into little fists. She sinks down onto her bed, arms covering her head. That was a warning, she knows. A warning that if she’s smart, she’ll do as she’s told and take a job somewhere else.

Mother is wrong about one thing. Carmilla has never made the wise decision when it comes to doing as she’s told, and doesn’t intend to start.

* * *

Perry is just getting to sleep when she hears a pattering against her window. Her eyes flutter open for a moment, then shut again as she brushes it off as the wind or a tree branch. When she hears again a few seconds later, she folds her pillow over her ears, hoping to drown out the sound if it continues. It returns moments after in the form of a much louder thunk, and Perry sits upright suddenly, cautiously making her way over to her window. Just as she does, a rock bounces off it with the same thunk from a moment ago. Perry lets out a tiny shriek of surprise, opening her window and peering out.

LaFontaine is standing outside, two stories below her, dressed in the same slacks and vest they’d worn for their Valentine’s Day dinner this past year over a white dress shirt. They’re leaning down to pick up another rock when Perry hisses, “ _LaFontaine!_ What are you doing?”

“Oh!” LaF looks up, letting the rock in their hand fall on the grass at their feet. “There you are. Put on something nice and come down!”

Yawning, Perry rubs her eyes and shakes her head. “Honey, it’s after midnight—”

“No it’s not. It’s only 11:51, so hurry up!”

“Why?” Perry asks in exasperation.

“Don’t ask questions, just get dressed and come down. Maybe wear that blue dress with the flowers that you wore to the spring fling this year? It looks nice on you.”

Perry sighs. No use in objecting. However ridiculous the situation may be, it was obviously something LaFontaine put thought into planning, and Perry can’t disrespect that. She gets up and digs the dress LaFontaine had referred to out of her closet, puts it on, and does a little bit of makeup before returning to the window. "How do I look?" she asks, leaning her head out.

"Perfect," LaF replies with a grin. "Now come down."

Perry starts to turn around before LaFontaine stops her. "Where are you going?"

Perry turns back around in confusion. "I’m coming down."

"You aren’t going to climb down?"

"Why would I do that when I could easily just come out through the front door?"

LaF shrugs. "It doesn’t have the same romantic flair."

Perry rolls her eyes. "Sorry, _Romeo_ , I’m not climbing down the side of my house in this dress, though I appreciate your dedication to the bit." She comes out the front door a minute later and takes LaFontaine’s hand. "Now. Where are we going in the middle of the night on a Sunday?"

"About to be Monday," LaF corrects, tugging Perry along behind them. "C’mon."

Perry follows them through the dark behind both their houses. LaF is moving quickly and at one point Perry has to catch herself as she almost trips over a log in their path. "Honey, slow down!"

"Sorry." They stop in front of the back gate of the Pattersons’, a family LaFontaine occasionally house sits for. "Don’t worry, they’re out of town," LaF assures her as they unlock the gate.

The motion-sensing back porch lights flicker on to reveal one of Mrs. LaFontaine’s old tablecloths laid out by the Pattersons’ pool. Sitting on the tablecloth is a basket, a bottle of wine, and two glasses. LaFontaine sits down, and Perry follows, bewildered. “Honey, what’s all this for?” She looks at the wine bottle with concern. “You… didn’t steal that from your parents, did you?”

“Nope. Drove out of town to get it.” They had a fake ID, but it didn’t usually do them much good in Silas, where every person in town knew who they were, how old they were, and who their parents were.

Perry nods. “Okay. But— again, what is all this?”

“Two weeks,” is all LaF says in reply.

“Pardon?”

“Two weeks,” they repeat. “We always said that once we graduated, we wouldn’t stay here for more than two weeks. We graduate next year on May 26th. Meaning we’ll have moved out of both our parents’ houses by June 9th. Which is now…” they check the time on their phone and see that it’s after midnight now, “exactly a year from now.”

Perry smiles. “And that’s what all this is about?”

“Yes.” LaFontaine fills both their wine glasses and hands Perry hers, then pulls out two ham and cheese sandwiches from the picnic basket. “It’s not exactly a moon-lit picnic by a lake, but I did what I could with what I had. I wanted to do something special, because in a year from now, we’re going to be starting our lives together.”

“Honey… it’s perfect, everything—”

“Hang on, I’m not finished,” LaF interrupts, taking Perry’s hands in their own. “I have more to say. Because I want you to know why I’m doing this, and exactly how important you are to me, and why I can’t wait to be with you forever. So just listen.”

“I’m listening.”

“Okay.” LaFontaine takes a shaky breath. They’d rewritten what they’d planned to say a thousand times to get the words perfect. “I look at you, and every time I look at you, it’s just like, ‘wow, you’re my best friend.’ You’ve always been my best friend, and when I see you, I see the rest of my life, and you’re always going to be my best friend. And I’m in love with you, of course, and you’re in love with me, but it’s so much— it’s more than that, you know? I look at you and ‘love’ doesn’t seem like a big enough word for the way I feel. When I’m with you, it’s like every love story I’ve ever seen or read makes no sense to me, because no story ever written could do us justice. No one could ever recreate the way— and I don’t quite know how to say this and make it sound special, but the way how I’m not just in love with you, how I feel safe when I’m with you, and how I’m just comfortable next to you, and how when I hear the word ‘home’, I don’t think of a place, I think of being with you.” When LaFontaine’s eyes meet Perry’s, they see that she’s blushing bright red, but is grinning ear-to-ear. They figure their face must look the same way. “You know I don’t believe in soul mates, or destiny, or that the universe has any sort of plan set in place. I just think I’m incredibly lucky. Because there are seven billion people spread across the 25 million square miles of habitable land on earth, and somehow the only person who makes me feel all those things is sitting across from me right now, holding my hand.”

Careful not to knock over either of their glasses in her haste, Perry leaps over to throw her arms around LaFontaine, planting her lips on theirs. When Perry pulls away, LaFontaine is laughing.

“I’m guessing I said the right things then?”

“Yes.” Perry kisses them again. “You did. You absolutely did.”

“Good. Because I spent more time rehearsing that little speech in front of the mirror than I’m willing to admit.”

“It was beautiful.” Perry assures before silencing them with another kiss, and another. “One question,” she says when she comes up for air.

“Yeah?”

“Did you have to look up how many square miles of land there are on earth, or did you just know that off the top of your head?”

“I googled it,” LaF confessed, blushing again. “It’s not the exact number either; I rounded up.”

Planting another kiss on LaFontaine, Perry giggles. “I love you, weirdo.”

“Control freak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here and Nowhere Else updates every Monday around 4:00 EST  
> Track the tumblr tag #carmilla stau for discussion, and #cstau updates for new chapters


	3. One Third Passion, Two Thirds Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2: Carmilla sucks at her job, Danny hates her town, and Perry is the only competent worker at the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: discussion of homophobia, discussion of death (not of a major character)

Danny lets out a drawn-out, frustrated groan as Perry continues to pace behind the counter. “This is ridiculous,” she says, running a hand through her hair.

“Give it up, she’s not showing,” LaFontaine says with a sigh, eyes following Perry back and forth.

“Oh, she better be!"

“Honestly, this is so inconsiderate.” Perry finally stops pacing, crossing her arms. “I knew she’d pull something like this, but on the first day—I can’t believe my mom actually gave her this job! ”

“Wasn’t she the only one who applied?” LaF asks. Both Danny and Perry silence them with a glare.

Danny looks at the clock. “Okay. It’s officially been an hour. She’s an hour late. I’m giving up.”

“About time,” LaFontaine grumbles. They feel Perry’s glare again and get up. “Is there anything I can do to help out?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, Sweetie.” In truth, the store isn’t even that crowded. Ever since school got out, they aren’t nearly as busy as they usually are. Still, Perry tells herself, it’s the _principle_ of the thing.

Before she can stop them, LaFontaine starts on making a fresh pot of coffee. Perry silently thanks them with an apologetic glance.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t work here,” Danny quips.

“Yeah, meaning I’m not getting paid, so shut up and take the help you can get.”

Danny rolls her eyes. There’s really no reason for her to be so annoyed at LaFontaine. Sure, their near-constant presence at the store got a little tiring, but Danny knows she shouldn’t be complaining. And it was nice to not be the only queer kid around, even if Perry and LaFontaine were closeted. They’d come out to her about their relationship the first day Perry started working there, and though it initially made Danny feel a little insulted— she didn’t particularly appreciate the implication that the main thing bonding the three of them was Danny’s sexuality— she was also relieved. She was even more relieved last week when LaFontaine had come out to her about being genderqueer, which Danny still doesn’t quite understand, but is willing to respect. It’s comforting not to be the only freak in town.

A loud jingle of the bell on the door snaps Danny out of her thought process. Carmilla strides in, coffee cup in hand and sunglasses covering her face. “You’re late,” Danny tells her.

“Sorry. I slept in and stopped for coffee on the way here.”

Danny stands up, gritting her teeth. “We have coffee here, you know. This is a coffee shop.”

“Is it, Xena? I had _no_ idea.” Carmilla’s words are dripping bitterly with sarcasm. Danny wants to slap her.

As much as Perry would like to chew Carmilla out, she puts on a smile and steps between Carmilla and Danny. “So, um, Carmilla. You started at a great time because we’ll really be needing the extra help in the next coming week. I’m sure you know that we have an annual Summer Solstice celebration here, and that’s coming up soon, so we need to start preparing for that.” A lump builds in Danny’s throat as she remembers that this will be the first Summer Solstice since she came out. Perry continues, “In the meantime, we need you to stock shelves, so why don’t I show you how that’s organized?” She leads Carmilla back behind the shelves, and, more importantly, away from Danny. She rubs her temples. She did not sign up to be a mediator between those two when she took this job.

“Well.” LaF turns back to face Danny. “She’s a delight.”

* * *

“Thanks for coming with me,” Betty says as she pulls her car into the parking lot outside Summer Society Books.

“No problem, Bets.” Laura has seen very little of Betty since the funeral— she understands why— and is happy to get the chance to spend time with her, even if it is for something as dull as helping her study. “I need to start on my summer reading list anyway.  No offense, but I have no idea why you’d want to take a summer class. The work to prepare for Lang is heavy enough as it is, and I’m sure it’s worse for Lit.”

Betty nods, not really listening. She has to take Econ and Government over the summer in order to make room in her schedule for the two languages she’s planning to take senior year. She’d been wanting to go back to Latin for a while— she’d taken it freshman year and really loved it— but she couldn’t give up on her last chance at taking AP French. At least, that was her thought process when she was filling out her course request form. Now, she’s not sure if it was the best decision. It’s barely halfway through June, and Betty’s already overwhelmed at the thought of the workload she’ll have when she goes back in the fall.

Almost as soon as they set foot in the store and settle at a table, Perry approaches them. “Green tea and a chocolate chip muffin?” Betty nods and Laura smiles in appreciation. Customer service has improved vastly since Perry started working there. Danny and her sister are great, but Perry has a special knack for memorizing orders and is far faster than either of the Lawrence girls. Danny has a tendency to get distracted chatting— or arguing— with customers, while her sister was the opposite, hardly ever saying a word and hiding in the back whenever she can.

Perry returns in record time with their order, and Laura thanks her.

“So,” Laura begins gently, once Perry has left, “how’s Natalie been? Doesn’t she usually hang out here?”

Putting her tea down and pursing her lips, Betty speaks slowly. “Nat and I… haven’t really been talking much. All I know is she’s been spending a lot of time at home.”

“Oh.”

Betty sighs. “It’s just… I know this is going to make me sound like a horrible person, but all she wants to do lately whenever we hang out is talk about SJ and cry, and I just can’t take that right now. I’m done talking about it; I’m done crying over it. It’s just not the kind of thing I can handle at this point in time.”

“That doesn’t make you sound like a horrible person at all.”

“Thanks.” Betty takes another sip of her tea. “Um, I should study.” She pulls her laptop out of her bag. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you to quiz me.”

The minutes pass quietly, with only the sound of Betty typing at her keyboard and Laura occasionally flipping a page of _A Tree Grows in Brooklyn_. About twenty minutes go by before they’re disturbed by a sound and a voice from the back.

“What the _hell_ , Amazon?”

Danny’s holding a squirt bottle of water and pulling someone to their feet by the elbow. “You’re supposed to be stocking the shelves," she reprimands, " _not_ taking a nap behind them.”

“The instructions weren’t clear enough.”

“Carmilla?” Laura asks as the girl comes into the view. “I didn’t realize you worked here.”

“‘Work’ is a generous term," Danny scoffs.

Carmilla rolls her eyes at Danny. “I was stocking shelves, for your information. I just decided to take a break.”

“If you want a break from stocking shelves, you could clean the bathrooms,” Perry pipes up. Her cheery demeanor is intact, but there’s definitely resentment in her tone.

Carmilla huffs as Perry begins to get out the cleaning supplies. She pulls on the yellow rubber gloves Perry hands her and snatches the rest of the supplies from Perry, retreating into the bathroom.

“When did she start working here?” Laura asks.

Danny pulls a chair up to Laura and Betty’s table, smirking. “I’ll let you know.”

“I’m guessing she hasn’t been much help then, huh?”

“Well, this is her first day and she got here an hour late. With coffee from another location. To her job at a _coffee shop_.”

“I’m trying to study.” Betty looks up pointedly, tilting her laptop screen downward.

“Sorry, Bets.”

Danny furrows her brows. “Study? School got out weeks ago. What are you studying for?”

“I’m taking summer classes to make room in my schedule for next year.”

“Ew. Why would you want to put yourself through that?”

“Because, Danny, I’m trying to get into Princeton. You know, Ivy League. _Some_ people would rather not be working at a minimum wage job after they graduate high school.”

That strikes a nerve, and Danny rises. “So what? You think you’re better than me? You think that because you have well-off parents and a high IQ and the blessed opportunity to leave this shithole after high school that that makes you superior to everyone here? Why even hang out here then? Why not go someplace with people who can live up to your pretentious standards?”

Betty is taken aback. She realizes how it sounded, and it came out meaner than she meant it to, but she didn’t expect it to evoke such a reaction. She turns apologetic. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Yeah. You did. You and your little clique of university-bound snobs have always acted like everyone who’s not headed out of state immediately after graduation is below you. You and Natalie and Sa—” Danny catches herself, “--and all your other friends are so stuck up about it! Well, I’m sorry that I had a mother who for most of my life had far bigger concerns than making sure I had straight A’s and that Silas High has such piss-poor women’s sports teams that I’d never even be considered for an athletic scholarship. But that doesn’t make mean I’m any less ambitious, capable, or important than you are!” Danny storms out of the store, slamming the door behind her so hard that the bell cuts off with a clang. Perry, LaF, Laura, and Betty are all left staring after her in shock.

“I said the wrong thing,” Betty finally says. She feels awful. Before anyone can say a word back to her about how, _yes, that’s putting it lightly_ , she shuts her laptop and follows Danny out.

She finds Danny sitting outside of the pavement, leaning against the wall behind her. Her palms are pressed to her forehead, fingers clenched in her hair. “Look, I’m sorry,” Betty says, sitting down next to her.

“No, you’re not.”

“I really am.”

Danny sighs. “ _No_ , you’re not. You’re just apologizing to make yourself feel better, so you can pat yourself on the back and assure yourself that you aren’t a shitty person.”

“I’m not,” she says. “I mean, I’m not apologizing for me. I’m not saying I’m not a shitty person. Because I feel like I kind of am.”

Danny rolls her eyes. “Save it.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“And stop apologizing.”

“Sor— okay.”

They sit for a few moments, and it becomes clear to Danny that Betty’s not leaving right away. She bites the inside of her cheek and decides to keep talking. “I’m probably going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. Working at this stupid fucking store and being treated like a circus freak. I know Silas sucks, I know everyone hates their town, but it’s so much worse when you’re—” Danny clenches her fists against scalp. “It’s just really, _really_ hard to be a person like me in a place like this.”

Betty nods understandingly. She cautiously places a hand on Danny’s knee. “Look, I know I don’t know you that well, but honestly, you don’t seem like the kind of person who’s going to get stuck. You sort of seem like you have this… I don’t know, determination about you that I really admire. You’re gonna get out.”

Danny looks at Betty. “You’re right,” she agrees. She takes Betty’s hand off her knee and gets up. “You _don’t_ know me.”

* * *

Perry and LaFontaine are re-shelving the fiction section— Perry was in no way at all unclear when she explained the process to Carmilla, and yet she somehow still shelved the few books she'd gotten to before taking her catnap wrong— when they hear the bell tinkle and the door swing open. Perry pokes her head out from the behind the shelves. “Danny?”

“Nope,” replies the redhead, slightly shorter than Danny but with the same strong jawline as her. She grabs a blueberry scone from behind the counter and sits down at Laura’s table in Betty’s seat. “Hey, Laura.”

“Hey, Isabel. How’ve you been?”

Isabel shrugs in reply. “Where’s my sister?” she turns around to ask Perry.

“Oh, she stepped out.”

“To go where?”

“Just to get some air, I think,” LaF replies. “She walked out seeming pretty heated.”

“Typical,” Isabel scoffs, though there is some genuine concern in her tone. “She’s okay though, right?”

Perry nods. “Yes, I believe so. Elizabeth Spielsdorf, I’m not sure if you know her, she was just in here and made a comment that Danny didn’t seem to appreciate. They’re outside, though, probably talking it out, which is good. A lot of problems can be solved through good communication.”

“Sure.” Isabel pulls out her phone, losing interest.

The door opens and Danny walks in, Betty following behind her. “Hey, twerp,” Danny says, snatching Isabel’s half-eaten scone out of her hand, “You know you have to pay for that, right?”

“Do not.”

“You do if you aren’t working.”

“Mom said I didn’t have to today because you guys had a new girl helping.”

“‘Helping’ isn’t the most accurate word for what she’s been doing. You wanna go reshelve what she was supposed to do?”

“We’re on it!” LaF shouts from the back.

“You _still_ don’t work here!”

Isabel grabs her scone back from Danny. “No thanks. Mom just sent me over to get the ballots for Summer Solstice.”

Danny shifts her eyes to the side. “Do not talk to me about Summer Solstice.”

“Whatever, weirdo. Do you have them?”

Danny sighs. “Yeah, they’re behind the counter.”

Hopping up, Isabel lets herself behind the counter, Betty taking her seat back when she gets up. Shortly after, the door to the bathroom swings open and Carmilla walks out. “Okay, where do I put this stuff now that I’m done with it?”

“In the utility closet.”

“And where the hell is that?”

Perry makes a huge show of rolling her eyes and handing the books she’s carrying to LaFontaine before she walks over with exaggerated exasperation. Isabel moves out of their way as Perry shows Carmilla to the utility closet, and goes over to lean on Betty and Laura’s table, hissing under her breath to Danny, “Karnstein? _That’s_ who you hired?”

“I didn’t hire her, Mom did. Did she seriously not mention it to you?”

“Obviously not. Is she like… even allowed to work here?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just… I mean, I can’t imagine her mom being thrilled, especially after the thing with her friend, that girl—”

“You know I can hear you, right, Mini Xena?” Carmilla interrupts suddenly, so much venom and hostility in her voice that  it causes Isabel to freeze up for a second before answering.

Danny honestly couldn’t be happier for the interruption. She isn’t stupid. She knows what people had started thinking of this store since she came out. She knows that Perry took this job so she could be around another queer girl and that Carmilla likely took it as some sort of rebellious “fuck you” to her mom. But she doesn’t need to be reminded of it, and she’s definitely not going to discuss it with her little sister.

“Mind your own business!” Issy mumbles back.

“How about _you_ mind _yours_?”

“How about everyone mind their own business and get back to work?” Danny straightens up. “Is, if you’re gonna take those ballots to Mom, go.”

Isabel walks briskly out, ballot box in hand. Danny steps behind the counter. “Thanks,” she says to Carmilla.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t question what Danny’s thanking her for. “No problem. Thanks to you too, I guess.”

* * *

Danny awakens to a sudden pressure on her legs, and sits up quickly, kicking her sister off. “Issy, the hell?” Isabel changes the channel and hops up. “I was watching that!”

“No, you were taking a nap on the couch. And where the hell am I supposed to sit when you’re all stretched out?"

“I’m awake now.” She snatches the remote back. “And I’m watching what I want to watch.”

“Not unless you want to watch _Pretty Little Liars_ , because that’s what we’re watching.”

Danny groans. She isn’t actually opposed to that, but it goes against her nature to let Isabel win an argument that easily. “We can catch a rerun when I’m done watching what _I_ want to watch.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

Danny tosses the remote at her. “Just watch your stupid show.”

Isabel smirks with satisfaction. “By the way, mom called earlier to ask if Chinese food was okay for dinner, and I said yes. So that’s what she’s bringing home.”

“Wow, thanks for checking with me.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Danny scoots over to make room for Issy, and checks her phone to see a text.

Unknown Number: _Hey, Danny, Laura gave me your number_

Danny: _who’s this_

Unknown Number: _Sorry, it’s Elizabeth._

Danny: _??_

Unknown Number: _Spielsdorf._

Danny: _oh, betty_

Danny quickly puts the name in her phone.

Danny: _look, you don’t have to apologize again_

Betty: _I know. I still wanted to though. I was a jerk._

Danny: _yep_

Betty: _And I’m really, really sorry. Look, things kind of suck right now and I’ve been taking it out on everyone around me and I’m sorry._

Danny: _it’s cool_

Betty: _Are you sure?_

Danny runs a hand through her hair. She’s still pissed, no doubt, but what is she supposed to say to a girl whose best friend died less than a month ago?

“Who are you texting?” Issy asks.

“No one.”

Danny: _yeah i’m sure, don’t worry about it_

Betty: _Okay. Hey, I’m thinking about going to that Summer Solstice thing next week, what exactly is that about? I’ve never been._

Danny feels her stomach turn.

Danny: _nbd, we move a bunch of shelves and play a movie on the back wall and my mom cooks hamburgers and hotdogs outside, it’s basically a glorified cookout_

Betty: _Cool. I’m gonna go with Laura._

“ _Go with Laura_.” Maybe she’s over thinking that phrasing, but knowing what Danny knows about Laura, and what she doesn’t know about Betty, Danny can’t help but wonder if there’s something to that. She shakes her head and sets her phone down on the arm of the couch.

The _Pretty Little Liars_ episode is halfway over when Diana Lawrence comes through the front door, carrying two takeout bags and setting them on the counter. “Hey girls. Danny, how was work?”

“Carmilla is the worst!” She hears Issy mutter “ _here we go_ ” under her breath.

“Please tell me you at least tried to get along with her, I know there are issues there but—”

“Mom, she came in an hour late and then took a nap in the back when she was supposed to be restocking shelves. Not to mention I don’t think she’s cleaned a bathroom in her life— why would she? Perry and I had to redo just about everything she did.”

Diana rolls her eyes, unloading the styrofoam takeout boxes from their bags as Danny and Isabel get off the couch to come help in the kitchen. “Well, y’know hon, you aren’t exactly one to talk.”

“Danny was super pissy today, more than usual.”

“No one asked you, Is,” Danny snaps.

“You were.” Isabel shrugs, getting out the paper plates and setting them on the counter.

Diana sighs. “Look, we need the extra help. I’m sure Carmilla will get better. And I’ll be around more next week to supervise, so just try not to bite her head off until then.”

“No promises.” Danny grabs an eggroll out of the box.

“Anyway,” Diana says, moving on, “I counted the ballots for the movie we’re going to show at Summer Solstice, and _Frozen_ by far has the most votes. Predictable, but it’s a popular movie, which means it will bring a lot of people in.”

“Hey, Mom,” Danny starts delicately, “I kinda wanted to talk to you about Summer Solstice stuff. Just, y’know, some... concerns I have.”

Diana doesn’t miss Danny’s anxious glance towards Isabel. “Okay. We can talk after dinner.”

Danny nods, shoveling a forkful of sesame chicken onto her plate.

They finish dinner and Diana asks, “Issy, is your room clean?”

“No.”

“Go clean it.”

“Why?”

“Isabel. Go.”

When the door to Isabel’s room is shut behind her, Diana looks to Danny. “Okay, what do you want to talk to me about?”

Danny shifts her eyes to the side, unsure of where to begin. “It’s just… look, I know Summer Solstice is usually a big money maker for us and… I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry about?”

Danny looks back to her mother. She’s gazing at her with that stern but understanding face, and Danny tries not to feel as guilty as she does. “It’s just… it’s a family thing, it’s always been a thing that parents bring their kids to, and stuff and… I don’t know if it’ll be that this year.”

Diana starts to understand. “You… think that’s because of you?”

“Yeah.” Danny nods. “I mean, I know it’s bull, but it doesn’t change the fact that people think backward-ass things, and no one’s going to want to be around me. Hell, half of the kids who still come here are only doing it because they think it makes them look edgy and rebellious.”

Diana reaches across the counter to grab Danny’s hand. “Danielle Lawrence,” she begins slowly and seriously, “I know the way you see yourself. I’m not saying it’s invalid. People are stupid and hateful and bigoted and I know that. Believe me, I know. But do you know why people come to our store? It has very little to do with our reputation as people, but a lot to do with our reputation of doing good business. I’m not saying that people’s judgement of you is all in your head, but trust me when I say it’s not nearly as bad as you think it is.”

“Look, I know you’re trying to make me feel better—”

“I’m not. If I was, I would tell you not to worry, it’s all going to be fine, and no one is going to judge you or judge us because of you, but I know that’s not true.” Danny’s looking away again, and Diana takes notice. “Hey. Look at me. I’m a single mom who doesn’t go to church and who didn’t get married until after I got pregnant with Isabel. If our business’s success was based entirely on the majority of the people in this town’s judgement of our moral character, we wouldn’t have a business. But if it was, so what? You girls are far more important to me than the store. Don’t you _ever_ forget that.”

“Then why are you keeping me here?” As soon as Danny says it, she regrets it. She sees her mother’s face freeze, and she lets go of Danny’s hand. A million apologies race through Danny’s head, but she doesn’t voice a single one of them, instead getting up from the counter and walking as fast as she can to her room.

 _I’m a horrible, horrible person_ , she thinks to herself as she lies down on her bed and buries her face in her hands. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t resent her mother for having her stay in town, but she also knows there aren’t a lot of other options. Danny doesn’t have a college fund, isn’t eligible for any scholarships, and doesn’t even have enough money saved up to move out of town and get her own place and her own job.

Her mother tries. She knows she tries. And Danny knows that her mom wants her to be happy more than anything else, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here and Nowhere Else updates every Monday around 4:00 EST  
> Track the tumblr tag #carmilla stau for discussion, and #cstau updates for new chapters


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